Hey, wait. I’m Somebody! (OR: let me straighten my halo)
“Oh, you’re an angel for being such a blessing to those children.”
“You’re such a saint for saving these children.”
What do you say to that? “Hang on a second, let me polish my halo?”
Or “Heaven will bless you for taking care of these poor children.”
I do have a response to that one: “Oh, didn’t you hear me? I’m a foster parent; I’ve already been blessed.”
I love being a foster parent. Do you remember the first time you gave your little one bananas? Or introduced them to giraffes? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I get to do that OVER and OVER and OVER. I get to see first steps and hear first words OVER and OVER and OVER.
On the downside, I also get the first tooth. And the first tantrum. OVER and OVER and OVER. Frequently I get the first crib-rattling diaper explosion. And the first “Your-little-darling-bit-another-child” phone call. (say it with me) OVER and OVER and OVER.
But they usually leave before they want to drive my car, so that’s a bonus! 🙂
Anyway.. what do you say to those people? You can read How I Got Here from There, so I won’t repeat it here. In a nutshell: I’m a foster parent partly for selfish reasons – I love and want babies, but I’m infertile. Sure, we could have gone the surrogacy or private adoption route…. But I’ve know since I was 8 years old that I wanted to be a foster parent.
Since I discovered that foster children exist, I have felt very strongly that all children deserved to be loved and wanted – by SOMEBODY. And I realized “Hey, wait! I’m Somebody.”
But that doesn’t mean that I’m an angel or saint or “saving these poor children”…. I’m a mom. And the fact that I get to be a mom to so many kids in such awful situations, when they need a mom the most… That blesses me AT LEAST as much as it blesses them.
Today wasn’t a good day, foster-care-wise. But as I sit here searching for words, listening to my Ducklings chase each other around the living room, I wouldn’t trade it for fertility. Not on your life.
How do you respond to these people? Let me know in the comments.
“There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child – and an instinct to make any child who needs it her own.”