Hey, wait. I’m Somebody! (OR: let me straighten my halo)

Oh, you’re an angel for being such a blessing to those children.

You’re such a saint for saving these children.

What do you say to that? “Hang on a second, let me polish my halo?

Or “Heaven will bless you for taking care of these poor children.

I do have a response to that one: “Oh, didn’t you hear me? I’m a foster parent; I’ve already been blessed.

I love being a foster parent. Do you remember the first time you gave your little one bananas? Or introduced them to giraffes? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I get to do that OVER and OVER and OVER. I get to see first steps and hear first words OVER and OVER and OVER.

On the downside, I also get the first tooth. And the first tantrum. OVER and OVER and OVER. Frequently I get the first crib-rattling diaper explosion. And the first “Your-little-darling-bit-another-child” phone call. (say it with me) OVER and OVER and OVER.

But they usually leave before they want to drive my car, so that’s a bonus! 🙂

Anyway.. what do you say to those people? You can read How I Got Here from There, so I won’t repeat it here. In a nutshell: I’m a foster parent partly for selfish reasons – I love and want babies, but I’m infertile. Sure, we could have gone the surrogacy or private adoption route…. But I’ve know since I was 8 years old that I wanted to be a foster parent.

Since I discovered that foster children exist, I have felt very strongly that all children deserved to be loved and wanted – by SOMEBODY. And I realized “Hey, wait! I’m Somebody.”

But that doesn’t mean that I’m an angel or saint or “saving these poor children”…. I’m a mom. And the fact that I get to be a mom to so many kids in such awful situations, when they need a mom the most… That blesses me AT LEAST as much as it blesses them.

Today wasn’t a good day, foster-care-wise. But as I sit here searching for words, listening to my Ducklings chase each other around the living room, I wouldn’t trade it for fertility. Not on your life.

How do you respond to these people? Let me know in the comments.

“There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child – and an instinct to make any child who needs it her own.”

~~Robert Brault


  1. Tracie Bauguess

    God bless you for being a Foster Parent!! It takes a special person to open their home & their heart OVER and OVER and OVER again without knowing where they will end up down the road. Keep that halo polished off. God’s not done with you yet!

    1. Duck Mommy

      Thanks for reading, Tracie. Like I said, we’ve already been blessed. 🙂 I’m actually going to have to go dig my halo out of the bottom of the toy box, at least I *think* that’s where I left it. 😉

  2. A Wondering Dawn

    I reply quite simply, “Oh no, I’m not the blessing. I’m the one being blessed. This child is MY angel- not the other way around. I may be their cook, caretaker, housemaid, chauffer, and tutor. But that’s nothing compared to the personal comedian, spiritual therapist, best friend, loving companion, and little helper that they are to me.” I also never really point out that I’m a foster parent. Unless someone asks or makes a questionable statement- I just leave it at “These are my kiddos”. Because they are. And they always will be. Maybe not legally or physically- but in my heart.

    1. Duck Mommy

      Thanks for reading, Dawn! If I’m only out with one of the Ducklings, I don’t usually mention it, either. But when we’re out with 2 or 3 of them, their nearness of age, and differences in race make it pretty clear that something’s “up”.

      Plus, I’m a huge fan of being open about foster parenting – you wouldn’t believe how often I’ve told someone I was a foster parent and it led to a conversation about how they’d been thinking about it. I’ve even had a few follow up on my offer to communicate further about any questions they have.

  3. Tracey Gregory

    I foster/adopted and my neighbor foster/adopted, I think more people could take on at least one if they just gave it a chance. We could empty, or at least drain, the system if more people just took in one more. So many needy kids, so few good foster homes..loved the article!

    1. Duck Mommy

      Thanks for reading & posting, Tracey! I couldn’t agree more.

  4. ely

    This post made me cry! We just started fostering 2 months ago and it has changed our lives. One of those experiences where you find something “you were created for.” ::goosebumps:: Soooo thankful! I found you this morning googling something like, “visitation, foster parents, blog” because I just needed some empathy after our fist visitation with mom yesterday. I love the quote…”There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child – and an instinct to make any child who needs it her own.” It is soooo true for us. Thanks again!

    1. Duck Mommy

      Thanks for commenting! I’m thrilled you found me!! One of my primary goals is to encourage new foster parents. I haven’t felt very encouraging lately, your comment is a good reminder of what I want to do with with this blog.

      Feel free to vent away here – visitations can be really tough – or if you’d like a little more privacy, you can use the message form on the left sidebar.


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