FAFQs: Frequently Asked Fostering Questions – Which ones are your’s?
Google “questions about foster parenting” and you’ll get lots of official pages from child welfare agencies, state governments and foster/adopt charities (and even a quiz about whether you’re ready to be a foster or adoptive parent), but I haven’t found any “FAQs” that answer the questions that people ask foster parents everyday.
So I’m starting my own! (Yay!) And you’re going to help! (I hope)
Last week we started with a tricky one. Now we’ll cover one that I most often hear it in Wal-Mart from complete strangers, or in the daycare parking lot from people I know just well enough to wave in passing.
The answer is simple, although sometimes it seems to take a few attempts to get it across.
Q: Which ones are yours?**
A: All of them.
Q: No, I mean which ones are your real kids?
A: Oh! Ok. All of them. I left all the imaginary kids at home today!
<In other words, don’t ask this question. Ever. There’s not a polite or appropriate way to ask. All of my foster kids are really mine – at least for now. All of my adopted/biological/step kids are really mine.>
Q: No, I mean which is which?
A: Oh! Why didn’t you say so in the first place? That’s actually none of your business, is it?*
<Because if you’re close enough to our family to be entitled to this information, you’d already know, wouldn’t you?>
Q: What? Well, I was just curious. You know, trying to make conversation.
A: What, the weather and baseball were taken?
Now it’s your turn.
Foster Parents: Tell me in the comments the questions you get asked all.the.time. And your response, if you’ve got a standard. If not, I’m sure I can come up with something sarcastic. 🙂
Not-Foster-Parents: Tell me the questions you’d like to ask, but have the sense not to ask a stranger in Wal-Mart. I consider my readers friends, rather than random, rude strangers – so I promise to answer to the best of my ability with as little snark as possible. 😉