N.A.A.M. Blog Tour: Where did all these boys come from??? (Part 1: Squish)
In January, just before Squish was reunified with his birth father, I told our agency, “No more boys. Only girls. Girls are more fun and boys’ clothes are boring.”
No more boys.
In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I’m participating in an Adoption Blog Tour (AND GIVEAWAY!). Since we’re hoping to finalize a couple of adoptions in the next few months, I decided to write about the sequence of far-too-many-to-be-coincidence events that aligned and blessed us with two happy, boisterous, affectionate, spirited, funny, exasperating beautiful boys.
Because I’m incapable of making a long any story short, this will be a multipart fairy tale. Hang in there, because I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after. Without further ado, here’s
- When we were initially licensed, even though we were adamant that 2 was our limit, our licensing coordinator licensed us for 3 beds, “just in case”.
- In May 2012, we got talked into taking a sibling group of 2. This brought us to capacity and meant that when Squirm initially came into care, we didn’t get that call.
- If we had taken Squirm when he first came into care, we couldn’t have taken Squish in July.
- The sibling set was moved in July 2012, and I asked my agency to find us another baby ASAP. Meanwhile, AS A FAVOR TO MY AGENCY, we agreed to provide respite for two boys.
On July 20th, I got a call about a newborn baby girl just being released from the hospital – without even checking with SuperDad, I said we’d take her and happily began prepping for the new addition. Before I even finished making up the bassinet, my agency called back and said I couldn’t have her because Mr. Stork, the placement specialist at CPC wouldn’t give me an over-cap, even though I was at capacity only because of the respite. To put it mildly, I was furious. My agency relayed how unhappy I was, and Mr. Stork promised that the very next infant that came into care was mine. Sure. Whatever.
- That baby girl actually never came into care. If Mr. Stork hadn’t denied my over-cap that evening, I probably wouldn’t have been the 1st call for Squish – I definitely wouldn’t have been the only call.
- Less than a week later, the phone rang at 11 pm. A 4-month-old boy was coming into care and even though I was still doing respite, my over-cap was already approved. The mom had several kids already in care with paternal relatives. This little guy had a different unknown father. Which meant that odds were very good that this case would go to adoption. Mr. Stork kept his promise & Squish landed at 1am.
- In a major plot-twist, Squish’s birth father was identified and Squish went to live with him in January 2013.
This is when I told my agency “No more boys.”
- In yet another plot-twist, Squish’s birth father changed his mind, and Squish came back into care. Normally, he would automatically come back to us to ensure as much continuity as possible.
But by then we had Lady Bug and Squirm – and the state says that foster parents can’t have more than 2 children under 2. There’s a waiver, but the state had gotten really tetchy about waivers and it definitely wasn’t a sure-thing. Mr. Stork was contacted by Squish’s CM, our agency, Mother Goose (as my mentor), and Rainbow Brite, the Foster Care Liaison. Everyone assured Mr. Stork that SuperDad and I could handle 3 infants and that this was the best option for Squish. Mr. Stork agreed, and Squish came home!
Now check out Where Squirms Come From to see how we wound up with the second of our sweet boys.
* if you’re unfamiliar with any terminology, it might be helpful to check out my primer on foster care lingo.