Throwback Thursday – reflections on a young bride

I recently read an article on Lifehacker: 10 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Was Planning My Wedding, which of course, caused me to reminisce about my wedding and the planning thereof. It also made me appreciate all the ways I’ve grown in the last 11 years and all the ways my life has changed. And to marvel at the things that haven’t changed.
 
When I got married: I hadn’t yet found my way to college… I had NO idea who I wanted to be when I grew up. 

Today: I have an advanced degree, my CPA license and a career that I love. 

 
When I got married: I ^knew^ I didn’t want kids. I laughed at people who said I’d change my mind and I avoided *at all costs* those obnoxious people that talk incessantly about their kids.

TodayI’ve been blessed with the most amazing kids a mom could ever hope for – I’ve become one of those obnoxious moms who talks incessantly about nothing BUT my children – because they’re just that awesome (did I mention Lil Bit found his feet last week? he was SOOO proud – almost as proud as Mommy).

 
When I got married: SuperDad was my best friend – and not just because he was the one person I knew I could count on to have back no matter what, but also in that there was no one on the planet that I ever wanted to hang out with more. We didn’t have a lot of friends, because we just enjoyed each other’s company enough that we didn’t need other people around. One of the reasons I ^knew^ I didn’t want kids was because we didn’t want to share each other with anyone.

TodaySuperDad is still my best friend – and I still enjoy hanging out with him more than anybody in the world. I LOVE parenting with him. I couldn’t have chosen a better man to be the father of my children. And I couldn’t have chosen a better rock, or partner in crime, for this crazy roller coaster.

The demands of parenting have caused us to drift a little bit from the fun, best-friend relationship, but I’m making a commitment today to figure out how to get back to that (hopefully he’ll join me in that commitment, or this could be awkward).

I have more friends now. Some really awesome women that I wouldn’t trade for anything – even the ones I don’t actually know in real life.

When I got married: I thought I had a loving and supporting family that would back me up and stand by me no matter what.

TodayI realize that was an illusion. But I’m grateful to be released from the strain of maintaining that illusion.


When I got married: I wasted way too much time and energy on what other people thought – whether they were happy and whether they approved of me.

TodayI’ve made a lot of progress on that. I am proud of who I am – and not willing to change my beliefs or principles to suit anybody. *I* like me – and if you don’t, that’s okay.

I still spend too much energy on whether people approve of me. Not just anyone, mind – which is an improvement – but the approval of certain people is still far too important to me. And while I do what I think is right, regardless of the opinions of others, the lack of some people’s approval can still be emotionally crippling to me.


When I got married
:
 I was terrible about asking for help. I thought if people cared, they would see what I needed and offer help.

Today: I’ve figured out that people aren’t mind readers and for the most part I no longer expect them to just offer help I haven’t asked for. 

I’ve gotten a little better about asking for help. But I’ve been hurt so many times by people that I thought I could count on that it’s still really scary for me.


When I got married
:
 I expected people to behave the way I would behave and was frequently disappointed when they didn’t.

TodayUm…. yeah… Does it count that I at least know now that I do that?

 
When I got married: I was a Christian. I was saved. But my faith had never been truly tested.

Today: I’ve learned that a faith that has been tested comes out stronger and purer and more comforting. I’ve learned to cherish comfort in the arms of the One who knew me before I was born.

I still sometimes struggle to remember to rest in the knowledge that He works for the good of those who have been called according to His purpose. But when I do remember, I know that I will find peace. 


When I got married: I think I took a lot for granted. I was so busy trying to figure out where I was going, that I don’t think I ever really stopped and appreciated where I was – in the moment.

TodayI still don’t have much patience (word of advice: NEVER pray for patience – because God doesn’t give you patience, He teaches you patience – and that lesson sucks), but I am truly grateful everyday for all my blessings. My life is pretty freaking wonderful.

Hint: It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

3 Comments

  1. Shannon Brown

    Beautiful! I can say I feel similar in many ways.You are AWESOME!!

    Reply
  2. Duck Mommy

    Awww.. Thank you! I think you’re pretty special, too!

    ~Duck Mommy

    Reply
  3. Emily Goddard

    This is so great! I cracked up a few times bc this is definitely you, lol.

    Reply

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