That’s not how any of this works

I recently posted about things you SHOULD say to foster parents, and I definitely don’t want to fall into the “you’d better never say this” trend, but I feel like a PSA is necessary to clarify something.

It’s not uncommon for foster parents to be told “I could never foster.” It’s actually a fairly popular refrain. Most foster parents have a few pat responses just because we’ve heard it so many times.

Depending on who’s saying it, when they say it, and the kind of day the foster parent is having, responses can vary from grace-filled to aggressively sarcastic (^I bet you can guess where my responses usually fall in that range^)

But what I really want to talk about is a sentiment that occasionally follows that comment – sometimes immediately, sometimes days, months or even years later – and frequently from people who should know better.

If Susie “comes up for adoption”, I’d like to adopt her.


Just. No. 

That’s not how it works. 

That’s not how any of this works!!

First of all, let’s just strike the phrase “up for adoption” from our vocabularies, okay? I’m not going to get into it, but just trust me when I say the phrase is offensive and should NEVER be applied to children.
Secondly, this is MY CHILD you are so cavalierly offering to take off my hands. For whatever reason, you’ve decided that foster parenting isn’t for you – you couldn’t let them go or you don’t want to deal with the system or whatever. Fine. But after I have risked the heartbreak and endured the torment that is the foster care system, please don’t presume that MY CHILD needs someone to just swoop in and rescue them from certain orphan-hood.

Just. No. 

It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

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