#AdoptionTalk: Are they twins?

Our Twins
Did you know that there’s a term for “artificial twins” created by adoption?

Twiblings

There are lots of interpretations of the term, but in adoption circles, it typically refers to two (or more) siblings who are less than a year apart in age.

I belong to a Twiblings group on Facebook, but we don’t call our boys Twiblings.  They’re twins – just not biological. Seriously. The blonde is less than 7 hours older than the brunette. And they were born in the same hospital. And we get to keep both of them forever.

These two boys were meant to be brothers. Spend 5 minutes with them, and you’ll know it, too. If you need more proof, you can read the sequence of far-too-many-to-be-coincidence events that aligned and blessed us with two happy, boisterous, affectionate, spirited, funny, exasperating beautiful boys here and here.

When I wrote those posts, in November 2013, I was pretty confident that we would be finalizing their adoptions very soon.

But, foster care.

No take-backsSquish was freed for adoption on Thanksgiving Day, but we didn’t actually finalize his adoption until March 2014. In between, we spent months on pins and needles waiting to see whether his paternal grandmother’s homestudy would be approved so we could move onto the adoption selection committee. The expedited ICPC (out-of-state homestudy) was requested in July 2013 and case management could never get a straight answer about the holdup. In January 2014, our CM heard from the ICPC CM that the homestudy was going to be denied. But we couldn’t move forward until we got the official paperwork. Which didn’t show up until mid-February. I really, truly didn’t let myself believe that it was actually happening until the judge signed the paperwork.

One down, one to go. But the road to Squirm’s adoption was even more treacherous and unpredictable. But that’s all the time to have for today. 😉 Come back on February 5th for the Rest of the Story. (spoiler alert: it’s a happy ending)

#AdoptionTalk Link Up

Adoption Talk Linkup Hosts

This week’s topic: Your Adoption/Foster Care Story

 



Grab the #AdoptionTalk schedule here, so you’re ready for the whole year!

Next Link Up: February 5th
Next Topic: Anything Goes!

A few things to consider:
1) Be respectful of others. Adoption can be a sensitive subject, and opinions may differ from your own. Please be respectful to everyone.
2) Everyone is welcome. Adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, experts, foster care givers, those currently in the process. Anyone with a connection is welcome.
3) Try to read and comment on at least one other post. The point of a link up is to mingle and meet other bloggers. Have fun and check out a few of your fellow blogger’s posts.
4) Feel free to link an old post. We know you may have already blogged about some of the topics on our schedule. If you would like to link something you have already written that is just fine.
5) We would love an adoptee host. If you or anyone you know might be interested PLEASE let us know.
6) Follow Your Hosts. No need to follow everyone on everything, but make sure you follow in enough places that you’ll be reminded to link up.

Erin @ No Bohns About It | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Jamie @ Starfish Confidential | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Jenni @ Joyful Journey Mom | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest
Jill @ Ripped Jeans & Bifocals | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Madeleine @ Our Journey to You Adoption Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

7) Grab a button for your post or blog to help us spread the word so that other adoption bloggers can join in the fun.

Starfish Confidential #AdoptionTalk

And that’s it! We’re so excited that you are joining us!

10 Comments

  1. Lori Lavender Luz

    I hadn’t heard the term “twiblings” but it’s very clever and appropriate!

    And yours are adorable.

    Reply
    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Thank you! We think they’re pretty special!

      Reply
  2. Shecki @ Greatly Blessed

    7 hours apart! Wow! How old were they when the second one entered your family? Neat story!
    Shecki @ Greatly Blessed recently posted…ProBar Bites #loveatfirstbiteMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Thanks for reading!

      Well… we got Squish initially at 11 weeks. Then he was reunified with his birth dad when he was 7 months old. 2 weeks later, Squirm landed (1 week short of 8 months). Then Squish came back when the boys were 11 months. They will be 3 years old in May.

      Reply
  3. Mama Bear

    They both have the same twinkle in their eyes. What an adorable handful you have! I love a good cliff-hanger, can’t wait for part 2!

    Reply
    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Thank you!

      Reply
  4. The Beautiful Opportunity

    Did your adoption agency / foster care agency give you any problems about having kids the same age? Our agency wouldn’t allow us to have children the same age as they felt creating “twiblings” was somehow a bad idea. I never understood why. Any insight?
    The Beautiful Opportunity recently posted…Love in all it’s many forms is… still love!My Profile

    Reply
    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      I never knew that “artificial twins” were considered taboo until after we had our boys. Everyone has just thought it’s adorable.

      I think the warnings against it are along the lines of not adopting out of birth order – it’s not the end of the world, but it can create additional issues. And I think it might be a bigger issue if the boys had been older when they became brothers, but they have never really known any different.

      Of course, just like parents of natural twins, we have to be careful to make sure they are encouraged to be individuals and not see themselves as a set, blah, blah, blah…

      Reply
  5. Jill

    Wow, we have a lot in common. My boys are 4 months apart. I’m conflicted on the twin question. For all intents an purposes they are but I feel kind of weird about passing them off as twins. Sometimes, I tell casual askers they are just because I don’t like telling my story in line at Target but I wonder if I’m making the right decision.
    Jill recently posted…Urban Lingo – Fun Fads or Epic Fails?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      I thought the same thing when I read your story, I just haven’t had a chance to comment. 🙂

      You would think that it’s obvious that my boys aren’t biologically related, but we get sooo many people that ask if they’re twins… I used to just say yes and keep moving, but I found that I would feel guilty when someone believed me…

      Now we say, “Yep, just not biologically. :-)” Then we usually follow up with the facts that they’re both adopted and have the exact same birthday.

      Maybe you could say, “not quite :-)”

      Reply

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