#AdoptionTalk: Lessons in Transracial Parenting

In the adoption community, we are what's known as a "conspicuous family" I'm still new to this Transracial Parenting thing. But I'm learning.

Thanks, once again, to Jamie Lee Creativity for our amazing Forever Day photos!

In the adoption community, we are what’s known as a “conspicuous family”. When you see us together, it’s pretty quickly obvious that we’re not all biologically related. 

We didn’t set out to become transracial adoptive parents. We got a call about a baby that needed a family, and we had one to give him. I’ve read a few essays about how if you don’t meet certain wickets, you have no business becoming a transracial parent. I won’t link any, because they actually kind of piss me off. They are a big part of the reason that I spent so much time and emotional energy doubting whether I deserved to be Squirm’s mommy.

And if I had listened to those people, I wouldn’t be his mommy. And that would be very, very sad.

Luckily, though, I didn’t listen. I’m still new to this Transracial Parenting business. But I’m learning. And I will be good enough – I have to, because I AM his mommy.

#AdoptionTalk Link Up

Adoption Talk Linkup Hosts

This week’s topic: Anything Goes!


Grab the #AdoptionTalk schedule here, so you’re ready for the whole year!

Next Link Up: March 19th
Next Topic: Sibling Relationships

A few things to consider

1) Be respectful of others. Adoption can be a sensitive subject, and opinions may differ from your own. Please be respectful to everyone.
2) Everyone is welcome. Adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, experts, foster care givers, those currently in the process. Anyone with a connection is welcome.
3) Try to read and comment on at least one other post. The point of a link up is to mingle and meet other bloggers. Have fun and check out a few of your fellow blogger’s posts.
4) Feel free to link an old post. We know you may have already blogged about some of the topics on our schedule. If you would like to link something you have already written that is just fine.
5) We would love an adoptee host. If you or anyone you know might be interested PLEASE let us know.
Follow Your Hosts.
No need to follow everyone on everything, but make sure you follow in enough places that you’ll be reminded to link up.

Erin @ No Bohns About It | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Jamie @ Starfish Confidential | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Jenni @ Joyful Journey Mom | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest
Jill @ Ripped Jeans & Bifocals | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
Madeleine @ Our Journey to You Adoption Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

7) Grab a button for your post or blog to help us spread the word so that other adoption bloggers can join in the fun.

Starfish Confidential #AdoptionTalk

And that’s it! We’re so excited that you are joining us!


  1. Jill

    I like the term “conspicuous family”. I have never heard that before. Love the family picture!

    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Thank you! This is another shot from Squirm’s Forever Day. I cannot stress highly enough the value of having a great photographer for that day!!

      I wanted to use a pic of the kids, but The Daddy Guy was adamant that without the two us in the picture, you don’t get the full picture of just how conspicuous we are… Even the blonde is pretty conspicuously adopted, in my opinion.

  2. Mama Bear

    Just goes to show how there are “rules” in adoption, all for good reason, but sometimes they are meant to be broken!

    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Absolutely they are! My family seems to be a daily contradiction of all those “rules”!!

  3. Lori Lavender Luz

    I do think some people are naturally adept at meeting such challenges, and it sounds like you are one of those. If I never did anything until I was totally prepared to, well, I’d be a slug.
    Lori Lavender Luz recently posted…Happiness vs ContentmentMy Profile

    1. Jamie Nestrick (Post author)

      Thank you. I think you are probably right.

      I think if I was going to make one of those “you shouldn’t adopt if…” rules, it would be that if you’re not willing to adapt and stretch as a person – and tap dance outside your comfort zone, you should maybe re-examine your desire to adopt or foster. But that’s certainly not limited to fostering or adopting transracially…


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