In Everything Give Thanks
One of the things that I don’t blog about very often is infertility. I am infertile. SuperDad and I tried 2 years of infertility treatments before becoming foster parents. I’m certainly not ashamed of it – I’ve been known to inform unsuspecting, intrusive strangers, “These are my real kids. I don’t have biological children because I’m barren. Thanks for asking.”
The reason I don’t talk about infertility much is that I am no longer battling it. I am still infertile. That’s not going to change. What’s changed is that not only am I at peace with my infertility, I’ve come to a place where I’m thankful to be infertile. No, that’s not a typo.
First, let me say that I would never suggest to a woman or couple battling infertility that adoption would solve all their problems. That is a cold, insensitive, and hurtful suggestion, and I would never presume that my response to infertility should be everyone’s.
But let me explain what I mean (in no particular order)
- My Angel – at one point in our infertility journey, SuperDad and I consulted the Children/Family Pastor at our church. He suggested that we should meet another couple in the church who was also infertile. He thought SuperDad would get along very well with the husband, and that they might be able to help us navigate the faith side of the infertility fight. He had no idea that the wife would come to be the most treasured friend I’ll ever have. I could write an entire post about all the ways I’ve been blessed by knowing this wonderful, amazing, loving, giving, Christ-filled woman. I could write another about how honored and privileged I feel to know that she considers me a friend. (Her husband’s a pretty good guy, too, by the way.) SuperDad and I attended a different service than this incredible couple, and never we nor they attended many church-wide functions. So without infertility, I would likely never have met my angel. I don’t want to begin to imagine what my life would like without her in it.
- My faith – I firmly believe that faith which has survived assault, battery, and an onslaught of doubt is infinitely stronger than that which is untested. I also adamantly disagree with the old adage about God not giving you more than you can handle. He absolutely will give you more than you can handle – because for some of us, that’s what it takes to turn completely to Him. I’m not proud that it took infertility to make me surrender myself wholly and unreservedly to his will, but I am eternally grateful that I finally did surrender myself.
- My marriage – I won’t quote statistics at you, but just know that infertility is one of the hardest things for a marriage to survive. It’s literally right up there with infidelity. Knowing that SuperDad and I went through hell and back together, and came out stronger on the other side, gives us extreme confidence to know that we can get through anything, as long as we’re in in together.
- Being a foster parent – although I’ve wanted to be a foster parent since age 8, I’m not sure I could have convinced SuperDad to foster and adopt if we’d been able to build a family the traditional way.
- My boys – It goes without saying (but I’m going to say it anyway), that I would walk through all the fires of hell, and submit to all manner of torture, if that’s what it took to be my sons’ mom. Smiling, grouchy, or defiant, when I see those three beautiful faces every morning, I am reminded that infertility was a small price to pay.
#AdoptionTalk Link Up
This week’s topic: Thankfulness in Adoption