Faking Holiday Cheer
When I was a kid, Christmas was a huge deal for our family. Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, every decoration in the house was put away and Christmas decorations put up in their place. My sister and I would always grumble about the work required to put up the decorations, but I have always loved Christmas.
For most of my adult life, I followed the same schedule. I even began to look forward to the day after Thanksgiving. At least until my family and I stopped speaking two and half years ago. The details don’t matter, but suffice it to say that situation isn’t changing anytime soon.
While it’s never easy to be estranged from your family, the holidays are exceptionally hard for me. For the majority of the year, the absence of my family like an old football injury that acts up when it rains. Yeah, it hurt when my mom ignored my text about Lil Bit’s adoption, but I told myself that everyone makes decisions and focused on enjoying my kids.
But for the last couple of years, every time December rolls around, I find it very hard not to let my family dominate my thoughts. The part that makes me the saddest is that I can’t seem to muster any enthusiasm about the holidays. It’s December 17th, and we haven’t put up a single decoration. Not one light, no sign of tree… Part of the problem is time availability. But if decorating were important to anyone in the family, we would find that time. Honestly, I don’t know when we’ll get around to decorating. Super Dad isn’t really interested, and I can’t hang the outside lights myself….
I truly wish I could get more motivated to decorate – for the boys’ sake if nothing else. They adore Christmas lights and I love their joy at seeing them…. I’m sure we’ll manage to put the tree up at least by Christmas Eve – maybe I can convince Baby Doll to set it up for me next week and we can let the boys decorate it in the evening…
I guess I would say that my most prominent holiday tradition the last few years has been faking holiday cheer.
This year I am barely even accomplishing that….