Three-Ring Traveling Circus

Rapidly approaching TPR. Distant relatives. Woodwork. Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

Let me start by saying, “Grrr!” (and my handy-dandy foster care lingo primer might be helpful for this post)
 
Squirm’s paternal grandmother sent me an email this weekend that she has “SEVERAL close Relatives who would like to get [Squirm] so that he may Remain in Our Family.I will be letting Everyone know so that they can be checked out by the State Of Florida.” 

Evidently, she followed up by calling the CM’s supervisor today. 
 
Just to give you some background, this is the same woman who:
 
  • just showed up out of nowhere last month wanting visitation & was granted supervised hour/week
  • doesn’t want to deal with orientation at the visitation facility
  • keeps trying to convince SuperDad & I to 
    • either agree to supervise her visits so she doesn’t have to deal with the visitation facility,
    • or just “let me know when you’re going to be at McDonald’s or something – I’ve got a car, I can meet you there, and that awful [CM] doesn’t have to know
  • has something so bad in her background that CPC won’t even do a homestudy 
The CS told her that anyone who’s interested in having a homestudy will have to contact the CS. She’s not going to just take a list of names and start the process on all of them. Grandma then said that the whole family is attending a funeral this week, so it might be a couple of weeks before the relatives contact the CS. Good to know this is a priority….
 
Honestly, I’m not really stressing about it – it’s just irritating. Where the hell were these people when Squirm came into care last June? Or when he was moved to my home 6 months ago? *Nowhere* The CM and CS have asked bio-dad repeatedly about family – he just keeps saying there isn’t anybody who can pass a homestudy. And, seriously? Bio-dad has surrendered his rights on *5* children before Squirm!!! As far as anyone knows – NONE of those kids were placed with his family.
 
Anyway… I don’t know. I’m very much in a “whatever is supposed to happen, will” kinda mindset this week today right this minute. It probably has more than a little to do with Lady Bug’s case – I was dead-set against reunification, but prayed for the best outcome for her – and I think just maybe we got it.
 
It’s entirely possible that the SEVERAL close Relatives will never contact the CS. I’ve seen lots of instances where people say they want a child, but when it comes time to deal with the system, they suddenly have better things to do. 
 
Plus, I have some faith in Squirm’s judge. I don’t think he’ll appreciate that none of the family said a peep before now – or about any of the other kids. And I think he’ll remember that either SuperDad or I or both of us have been to every single hearing since Squirm came to us – even the one’s we didn’t have to go to, or the one’s that were continued to later in the afternoon and we were told we didn’t have to stick around for.
 
So I’m going to try not to worry about it tonight – I’m going to pray on it and ask my friends to pray on it (yes, that includes you), and trust that it’s all part of the grander plan. And whatever is supposed to happen, will. 

Struggling to Encourage (OR: what if don’t have anything nice to say?)

I’ve been really bad lately about posting. Largely because I don’t feel like I have anything positive or encouraging to say. There are definitely some good things going on right now – we’re getting closer to adopting Squirm & Squish, and I’ve seen some huge benefits recently from Lady Bug’s therapy. I feel better now than I did about Lady Bug being reunified – if they let her keep her therapist.

But I’m just absolutely disgusted with the bio parents and Case Manager for not even bothering to consult Lady Bug’s therapist before the Reunification Staffing. That just shows me *beyond all doubt* that the bio parents and Case Manager are not even pretending to consider Lady Bug’s best interests. And then on top of that, they’re talking about discharging Lady Bug’s therapist because “it might be confusing to her to have multiple counselors” and the dad’s counselor is doing the family therapy. I can see the confusing bit – which is why the child’s therapist is normally the one to do the family therapy.

The GAL is objecting to the reunification, the transition plan, and the discharge of Lady Bug’s therapist, I just wish I had faith in the judge listening.

See? There I go again.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that I’ve wanted to be a foster parent since I was 8 years old. (If you’re just now joining us, check out the beginning of the story.) I feel called to foster. I’m passionate about it. And I’m passionate about encouraging others – to think about it, give it a try, stick with it, support foster parents, etc. But I just don’t feel so encouraging lately.