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I want to hear YOUR story

November is National Adoption Awareness Month 
and I want to hear YOUR story!!

share your story!

For something a little different this month, I want to feature how adoption has touched you, my lovely readers.

I’m going to leave this pretty wide open — anything adoption-related, from anyone who has been touched by adoption —

A few possible examples (but certainly not exhaustive):

  • the day you met your adopted or to-be-adopted child
  • how you talk to your child about their adoption and/or birth family
  • how you wish your parents had talked to you about your adoption and/or birth family
  • why/how/when you hope to adopt
  • the day you met your or your child’s adoptive or birth family
  • how adoption has touched your family
  • how/why you decided to make an adoption plan
  • things you wished you’d known before/during/after adopting/making the decision to adopt
  • why you chose an open or closed adoption
  • how/why you chose your child’s adoptive family
  • how you maintain or create connection with birth families
  • what it is/was like having adoptive siblings
  • why you’ve chosen not to have contact with your or your child’s birth family
  • how you support or hope to support adoptees, adoptive families, or birth families
  • things you wished you’d known before/during/after deciding to make an adoption plan
  • basically anything adoption-related, from anyone who has been touched by adoption

I will edit for grammar, spelling, etc, and I’ll be happy to send you the edited version before posting, if you wish.

Message me on facebook, or send an email to Jamie @ StarfishConfidential dot com. Please include any pictures you’d like me to use, and feel free to give use pseudonyms or nicknames. Let me know if you’d like to see the edited post before it goes live.

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Hint: It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

I just received my first hate mail.

I feel like this post should come with some kind of Surgeon General’s Warning.

It was bound to happen, really. I’m opinionated. And sarcastic. And don’t have much tolerance for intentional insensitivity.

I’m only surprised by two things – that it took so long, and that it was a result of what I would have considered a relatively innocuous facebook post.

But I guess when you hit a nerve, you hit a nerve. I’m still not sure which nerve exactly I hit… The one about my constitutionally-ordained obligation to listen to fertile women complaining about the horrors of having to endure something that I, and untold numbers of infertile women, would give almost anything to experience, maybe?

But I digress.

Where was I? Oh! To the person who went to the trouble to track down my email address and then send me your novella of vitriol:

I hope you feel better now.

Also, since you have obviously considered me to be the scum of the earth for some time, but only just now discovered the need to tell me so –

You’re welcome. I hope that my audacity in not allowing you to verbally assault me on my own page will allow you to move on and find bloggers who don’t fill you with such fury and hostility.

To anyone else who who feels badly for my children being raised by such a “rude and judgmental, delusional, childish, bitter and unnecessarily combative” person:

I want to make sure you realize that there is no requirement to read my blog or follow me on Facebook or Twitter. 

All sarcasm aside – believe it or not, I am a very open-minded person. But there are certain things I simply will not tolerate on my blog or facebook page:

  1. Making light of or encouraging child abuse in any way. It’s not a joke and it’s not funny.
  2. Disrespect or abuse toward biological, foster or adoptive children, families or parents. Obviously there are bad foster & adoptive parents, just like there are bad biological parents. I don’t have a problem discussing news stories, or discussing solutions for issues of which you are personally aware, but I won’t tolerate disrespect or abuse, just because a family is different from “the norm”.
  3. Intentional insensitivity towards infertility. I understand that most people don’t “get it”. But being intentionally insensitive is not okay.
  4. Attacks on my personal beliefs or those of my readers. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, Pastafarian. I don’t care. If you do, take it elsewhere.
Happy Labor Day.

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Hint:
It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Do NOT do business with RUN OR DYE!

This is a public service announcement.As you know, our family enjoys participating in the “fun” 5K races – SuperDad and I load the Littles up in their strollers and we all thoroughly love the activity. We’ve had wonderful experiences with The Color Run, but they don’t have upcoming events near us, so I decided to branch out a bit.

Several months ago, SuperDad and I registered for a Run or Dye event about 35 minutes from us. The event was to be held mid-September.

Today SuperDad and I received emails notifying us that not only was our event cancelled, Run or Dye will NOT be issuing refunds, but we are welcome to transfer our entries to another race – one that is 2 hours away and a few days before the tax extension deadline in October (meaning I’ll be working – one reason why I didn’t register for that race to begin with), one that is 7 hours away NEXT WEEKEND, or one that is 5 hours away next month.

To compensate us for the inconvenience, they will give us 2 entries for each entry we purchased – so we can either bring a friend 2, 5 or 7 hours away, or we can go to 2 events – again, either 2, 5, or 7 hours away!!

After we registered, I read several accounts online that this company was notorious for this scam. Since we had already registered, we hoped for the best. It’s not even really about losing the money – I hate that we have contributed to keeping this fraudulent company in business.

Please don’t make the same mistake.

If you are looking to run a colorful 5k, please check into the Color Run. I’ve recently joined their affiliate program, but I haven’t set anything up yet, so I don’t get anything out of you participating in the Color Run – other than knowing I directed you to a quality, ethical event that will be tons of fun!

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Hint:
It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Case Updates: Squirm & Lil Bit

I just realized that I have NEVER told y’all about Lil Bit – like, at all! That’s terrible!! So I’ll get to him in a minute – but the update on Squirm will be much quicker, so I’ll start there:

NOTHING.IS.HAPPENING. As you already know, Previous Foster Mom (PFM) appealed our selection as his adoptive family. She also made some other legal maneuvers that can’t be fully addressed until her appeal is heard and ruled on. The appeal hearing was scheduled for next Tuesday. Yesterday I was told that her attorney requested a continuance…

We don’t have a new date yet, but I was told today it will probably be in August. In case you forgot – Squirm became available for adoption on 1.16.14. So we will have his post-termination Permanency Hearing before this appeal is heard – and AFTER THAT, we have to deal with the other junk….

So, yeah. My child has been a legal orphan for 5 months, and there doesn’t seem to be any urgency to remedy that situation. The one upshot is that he doesn’t know that. He’s 2, so none of this makes any difference to him. That’s what I’m holding onto….

Lil Bit is just awesome. He is such a happy baby and he has the greatest smile. His laugh is completely delightful. In fact, my only complaint about Lil Bit is that he won’t laugh for me. 🙁 SuperDad can get him to laugh, and he will laugh HYSTERICALLY for Squish. But I can’t get so much as a chuckle. However, he talks to me. Lil Bit and I have looooong conversations. And he sings to me. He occasionally will coo a little at SuperDad, but I’m the only one he sings to. And I’m the only one he has conversations with (and not just because I’m the only person that will have long conversations with a 6-month-old).

He was born with torticollis, which basically means that his neck, jaw and shoulder muscles were really tight and he constantly looked to his right. Which led to a serious flat part on the back of his head. Which led to the need for a cranial band (more commonly known as a helmet). He got fitted last week, and let me just tell you, he is TOTALLY rocking that helmet! We found a company called Bling Your Band that designs decals for cranial bands. We ordered a custom kit that will make his helmet look like a Pittsburgh Penguins hockey helmet. As soon as everything comes in, I’ll post pictures of the application process and a review of the company (spoiler alert: I’ve already been really impressed with the company). Lil Bit has also had physical therapy 3 days a week for the last couple of months to resolve the torticollis. He has shown MASSIVE improvement, and we’re expecting the PT to be discontinued in the next few weeks.

His Case: Meh. The case plan is expedited TPR. But…. nothing’s ever easy, right? We can’t actually move forward until the birth father is identified…. I feel like I’m on an episode of Groundhog Day meets The Maury Povich Show – YOU are not the father… YOU are not the father…. I asked in court today how long this is going to be drawn out – why can’t we test all the possibilities right away instead of testing one, learning he’s not the father, going to court, asking for the next name, test the next guy, see if he’s the father before locating the next guy….. Supposedly they’re now going to try to track down all the potentials and get them tested before we go back to court in August (!), so hopefully we’ll move forward at that point. (I hope you’ll understand if I don’t hold my breath….)

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Hint:
It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Other people’s opinions

Do you worry too much about what other people think of you?I usually really don’t.For the most part, I honestly don’t care what other people think of me. I happen to like myself, and if you don’t – that’s ok.
I know there are people (in cyber space and in my real life) that don’t agree with some of my parenting decisions. For example, it just torches my mom’s shorts that I don’t want my kids to have a bunch of electronic toys or to watch a lot of TV. I don’t want to get on a soapbox here, but I truly believe that too much of that stuff hinders imagination development. Don’t get me wrong – if you make different decisions for your kids, that is entirely your right. You get to make decisions for your kids and I get to make decisions for my kids.

At any rate, I do my best to be a good person and do the right thing. I believe in forming well-researched opinions and (obviously) am not afraid to share them. I think I succeed fairly well in being a good person and doing what I think it right. That matters far more to me than whether someone happens to agree with decisions I make.

There are two people whose opinions to matter to me – SuperDad’s and a very dear friend of mine who is literally the best person I’ve ever known. (And obviously my boss, because I really want to keep my job)
Sometimes if I think highly of someone, their opinion becomes more important to me than it probably should be. But I think that’s probably fairly normal. (Right?)
But one thing that just absolutely baffles me –

There are two women in my life for whom I have absolutely no respect. They are not nice people and I don’t enjoy their company. I don’t respect them as women, as mothers, as people. I would never willingly have a conversation with either of them.And yet… it eats me up when it comes to my attention that either has said something mean or unfair about me. I honestly have no idea why it matters. I can’t stand either of them and shouldn’t give a rat’s ass what they think of me.Do you do that? Do you put far too much weight onto the opinions of people you don’t respect? Or is it just me?

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Hint: It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.