Search Results for: label/Squirm

Number of Results: 5

Squirm’s Forever Day

After much drama and angst and consternation – and 800 days in foster care, Squirm is finally “forever”. On Friday, August 22nd, we made it official. I had terrible dreams leading up to finalization – from PFM demanding one last unsupervised visit, to her showing up at the ceremony and demanding to be present. But none of them came true. The day was completely drama-free (well, except for the ticket I got for not hanging my handicapped placard as we rushed into the courthouse) and SUCH a HUGE relief. We hit up Teddy Mountain for all the kids to pick out their Forever Day lovies (our family Forever Day tradition) and then had dinner with some of my best friends. We’re still kind of in that surreal-I-don’t-have-to-report-every-bruise phase, and I still need to return his redbook to his former case manager, but he’s really and truly ours. FINALLY.

In other news, Lil Bit finally figured out the mechanics of crawling. So we now have two 2-year-old boys and a mobile infant. We are well and truly screwed.

I love my life. 🙂

It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

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Case Updates: Squirm & Lil Bit

I just realized that I have NEVER told y’all about Lil Bit – like, at all! That’s terrible!! So I’ll get to him in a minute – but the update on Squirm will be much quicker, so I’ll start there:

NOTHING.IS.HAPPENING. As you already know, Previous Foster Mom (PFM) appealed our selection as his adoptive family. She also made some other legal maneuvers that can’t be fully addressed until her appeal is heard and ruled on. The appeal hearing was scheduled for next Tuesday. Yesterday I was told that her attorney requested a continuance…

We don’t have a new date yet, but I was told today it will probably be in August. In case you forgot – Squirm became available for adoption on 1.16.14. So we will have his post-termination Permanency Hearing before this appeal is heard – and AFTER THAT, we have to deal with the other junk….

So, yeah. My child has been a legal orphan for 5 months, and there doesn’t seem to be any urgency to remedy that situation. The one upshot is that he doesn’t know that. He’s 2, so none of this makes any difference to him. That’s what I’m holding onto….

Lil Bit is just awesome. He is such a happy baby and he has the greatest smile. His laugh is completely delightful. In fact, my only complaint about Lil Bit is that he won’t laugh for me. 🙁 SuperDad can get him to laugh, and he will laugh HYSTERICALLY for Squish. But I can’t get so much as a chuckle. However, he talks to me. Lil Bit and I have looooong conversations. And he sings to me. He occasionally will coo a little at SuperDad, but I’m the only one he sings to. And I’m the only one he has conversations with (and not just because I’m the only person that will have long conversations with a 6-month-old).

He was born with torticollis, which basically means that his neck, jaw and shoulder muscles were really tight and he constantly looked to his right. Which led to a serious flat part on the back of his head. Which led to the need for a cranial band (more commonly known as a helmet). He got fitted last week, and let me just tell you, he is TOTALLY rocking that helmet! We found a company called Bling Your Band that designs decals for cranial bands. We ordered a custom kit that will make his helmet look like a Pittsburgh Penguins hockey helmet. As soon as everything comes in, I’ll post pictures of the application process and a review of the company (spoiler alert: I’ve already been really impressed with the company). Lil Bit has also had physical therapy 3 days a week for the last couple of months to resolve the torticollis. He has shown MASSIVE improvement, and we’re expecting the PT to be discontinued in the next few weeks.

His Case: Meh. The case plan is expedited TPR. But…. nothing’s ever easy, right? We can’t actually move forward until the birth father is identified…. I feel like I’m on an episode of Groundhog Day meets The Maury Povich Show – YOU are not the father… YOU are not the father…. I asked in court today how long this is going to be drawn out – why can’t we test all the possibilities right away instead of testing one, learning he’s not the father, going to court, asking for the next name, test the next guy, see if he’s the father before locating the next guy….. Supposedly they’re now going to try to track down all the potentials and get them tested before we go back to court in August (!), so hopefully we’ll move forward at that point. (I hope you’ll understand if I don’t hold my breath….)

It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Merry Christmas!

The baby has arrived!! He is gorgeous!!!! He is 4 weeks old, but he was 5 weeks premature, so his adjusted age is -1 week 🙂 He is just a tiny little bit of a thing, and so, he will henceforth be known as Lil Bit.

He looks so much like Squirm that my heart melted immediately. He even already has some of Squirm’s facial expressions.

The Twins are doing really well with our newest addition. Squirm is  kind of oblivious and Squish is ENCHANTED. They both say Hi Baby and Squish gives him hugs – and then tries to stick his finger in Lil Bit’s ear.

Oh! And the final TPR order was signed for Squirm, so we’ve started the clock on his 30-day appeal period!!

It’s a Very Merry Christmas for our Traveling Circus!!

N.A.A.M. Blog Tour: Where did all these boys come from??? (Part 2: Squirm)

In January, just before Squish was reunified with his birth father, I told our agency, “No more boys. Only girls. Girls are more fun and boys’ clothes are boring.”

No more boys.

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I’m participating in an Adoption Blog Tour (AND GIVEAWAY!). Since we’re hoping to finalize a couple of adoptions in the next few months, I decided to write about the sequence of far-too-many-to-be-coincidence events that aligned and blessed us with two happy, boisterous, affectionate, spirited, funny, exasperating beautiful boys.

Because I’m incapable of making a long any story short, this will be a multipart fairy tale. Hang in there, because I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after. If you missed it, you can go read the bit about how we got Squish-ed (I’ll wait). Today, let’s talk about

Where Squirms Come From
  • I mentioned this yesterday, but it’s worth noting again: when we were initially licensed, even though we were adamant that 2 was our limit, our licensing specialist licensed us for 3 beds, “just in case”.
  • Two weeks after Squish left, I got a call about a little boy. “I know you didn’t want any more boys,” starts our Licensing Specialist, “but we have to move him from his current foster home, we need someone on this side of the county, and it’s only for a few weeks – he’ll be reunified with his dad soon.
    • Squish’s birth father was identified in September 2012, but due to stupid paperwork delays and unnecessary red tape, Squish wasn’t reunified until January 2013. If Squish had left any sooner, we would probably have already had another baby by the time Squirm needed a new placement, and he would have gone to someone else.
    • We decided to accept the placement because it would help our agency out and it would only be a few weeks anyway. When the Licensing Specialist told me his birth-date (exactly the same as Squish’s), I did a double-take – “Wait, this isn’t [Squish], is it? He just went back to his dad.” “No,” she said, “it says the name is [Squirm], and he’s coming from another foster home.”

SuperDad picked up Squirm from the CPC office and sent me a picture. He was freaking gorgeous! We decided that it was a good thing he’d only be around for a few weeks, because we could oh-so-easily fall in love with those dimples and we definitely wanted only girls.

  • Then I got a call from Squirm’s Case Supervisor – we knew her from a previous case, and she was thrilled when she heard Squirm was coming to our home. He was being moved because the previous foster mom went a little nutty when the case plan goal wasn’t changed to adoption right away.
    • The CS had told Mr. Stork that she needed a home that would support the current case plan (reunification) but that was open to adoption, because Squirm was very likely going to be available for adoption!
  • Squirm has several biological siblings (not enough for a baseball team, but enough for a hockey team and backup goalie). The three siblings just older than him had been adopted by a maternal uncle and aunt. They were asked to take Squirm when he came into care, but passed because they also had three biological children and they just didn’t feel they could handle 7 kids.
    • If the uncle and aunt had had room for him, Squirm would never have been placed in foster care, and we never would have met him.
    • If Squirm had been placed with anyone else when he first came into care, he wouldn’t have needed to be moved, and he wouldn’t have needed us.
    • A friend of mine actually got a call when Squirm initially came into care, but she didn’t have a spot for a boy, so she passed. If she had said yes, we wouldn’t have Squirm!
    • To be honest, from the beginning I was very intimidated by the idea of transracial parenting (I still am, but that’s another post). I was far from convinced that I was up to the task, and I was certain that Squirm deserved someone anyone better than me.
      • Then the maternal aunt reached out to us and asked for a picture of Squirm. My first thought was that she was maybe having second thoughts.
        OH, HELL NO! SuperDad and I instantly circled the wagons – She had her chance, she passed on our baby, and we weren’t going to give a chance to change her mind. That’s when we realized that he owned our hearts and began to pray that Squirm was here to stay.

Like I said, I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after, but you’ll have to come back for the happy ending because we don’t have the final chapter yet.

* if you’re unfamiliar with any terminology, it might be helpful to check out my primer on foster care lingo.

Foster2Forever positive foster parenting adoption blogs support

Please check out the other foster/adoptive parents who have contributed to the National Adoption Awareness Month Blog Tour by clicking the photo above!

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A Good Day for the Traveling Circus! (Updates)

Squish: TPR disposition hearing today. No surprises, and we’re one step closer to Forever Day. Judge Chinchilla ruled that all parental rights are terminated. The CLS attorney has 10 days to submit the order; 31 days after the order is signed, Squish will be freed for adoption.

We are still waiting on the ICPC on his paternal grandma. Everyone seems to be very surprised that MA is moving so slowly. The CM sent an update request through official channels, but has yet to hear anything.

Squirm: I’m not sure how or why, but I haven’t posted about the recent mini-roller coaster we’ve been riding with Squirm’s case. I mentioned previously that his paternal grandmother had apparently located an army of “SEVERAL close Relatives who would like to get [Squirm] so that he may Remain in Our Family.” Well, two of those relatives have come forward in the last 6 weeks. The first call came 6 weeks ago from a great-aunt who was supposed to call the CS back with names, birth dates and socials for all household members. She never called back and didn’t return the CS’s call a couple of weeks later. I never really worried much about her – I just didn’t feel like she was a threat to us – just an irritation.
But then, last Monday, I spoke with the CS and learned that an out-of-state cousin had come forward – she hadn’t known that Squirm was in foster care, but was willing to do anything necessary to get him. The cousin seemed really nice, gave the CS all the necessary information, and they made arrangements to speak again this week. I don’t know why, but this one freaked me out – it could have been timing, it could have been that the CS thought the woman was very nice… I don’t know, but this one had me worried. Since we are SOOO close to the TPR trial, which starts 11/8, the CS wanted to speak with her supervisor before moving forward with the ICPC.
So…. hurrah! I spoke with the CS today – because these people have come forward so late in the game, and ICPCs take SOOO long, CPC will not be moving forward with any homestudies for the great-aunt, the cousin, or any family members that come forward now!!! Granted, the bio-dad can still have his attorney file a motion for change of placement. But considering that there’s almost no chance that he could get a court date prior to the TPR trial… by the time the motion could be heard, he wouldn’t have any rights anyway!!!
Which means… really the only thing between us and Squirm’s Forever Day is the previous foster mom – and I’m really confident that’s she’s not a threat. Not only has he been with us longer than she had him (over 3 months longer by the time he’s freed for adoption), but they took him away from her for a reason…..
So, yeah. Today was a good day!!
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