Tag Archive: blog tour

N.A.A.M. Blog Tour: Where did all these boys come from??? (Part 2: Squirm)

In January, just before Squish was reunified with his birth father, I told our agency, “No more boys. Only girls. Girls are more fun and boys’ clothes are boring.”

No more boys.

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I’m participating in an Adoption Blog Tour (AND GIVEAWAY!). Since we’re hoping to finalize a couple of adoptions in the next few months, I decided to write about the sequence of far-too-many-to-be-coincidence events that aligned and blessed us with two happy, boisterous, affectionate, spirited, funny, exasperating beautiful boys.

Because I’m incapable of making a long any story short, this will be a multipart fairy tale. Hang in there, because I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after. If you missed it, you can go read the bit about how we got Squish-ed (I’ll wait). Today, let’s talk about

Where Squirms Come From
  • I mentioned this yesterday, but it’s worth noting again: when we were initially licensed, even though we were adamant that 2 was our limit, our licensing specialist licensed us for 3 beds, “just in case”.
  • Two weeks after Squish left, I got a call about a little boy. “I know you didn’t want any more boys,” starts our Licensing Specialist, “but we have to move him from his current foster home, we need someone on this side of the county, and it’s only for a few weeks – he’ll be reunified with his dad soon.
    • Squish’s birth father was identified in September 2012, but due to stupid paperwork delays and unnecessary red tape, Squish wasn’t reunified until January 2013. If Squish had left any sooner, we would probably have already had another baby by the time Squirm needed a new placement, and he would have gone to someone else.
    • We decided to accept the placement because it would help our agency out and it would only be a few weeks anyway. When the Licensing Specialist told me his birth-date (exactly the same as Squish’s), I did a double-take – “Wait, this isn’t [Squish], is it? He just went back to his dad.” “No,” she said, “it says the name is [Squirm], and he’s coming from another foster home.”

SuperDad picked up Squirm from the CPC office and sent me a picture. He was freaking gorgeous! We decided that it was a good thing he’d only be around for a few weeks, because we could oh-so-easily fall in love with those dimples and we definitely wanted only girls.

  • Then I got a call from Squirm’s Case Supervisor – we knew her from a previous case, and she was thrilled when she heard Squirm was coming to our home. He was being moved because the previous foster mom went a little nutty when the case plan goal wasn’t changed to adoption right away.
    • The CS had told Mr. Stork that she needed a home that would support the current case plan (reunification) but that was open to adoption, because Squirm was very likely going to be available for adoption!
  • Squirm has several biological siblings (not enough for a baseball team, but enough for a hockey team and backup goalie). The three siblings just older than him had been adopted by a maternal uncle and aunt. They were asked to take Squirm when he came into care, but passed because they also had three biological children and they just didn’t feel they could handle 7 kids.
    • If the uncle and aunt had had room for him, Squirm would never have been placed in foster care, and we never would have met him.
    • If Squirm had been placed with anyone else when he first came into care, he wouldn’t have needed to be moved, and he wouldn’t have needed us.
    • A friend of mine actually got a call when Squirm initially came into care, but she didn’t have a spot for a boy, so she passed. If she had said yes, we wouldn’t have Squirm!
    • To be honest, from the beginning I was very intimidated by the idea of transracial parenting (I still am, but that’s another post). I was far from convinced that I was up to the task, and I was certain that Squirm deserved someone anyone better than me.
      • Then the maternal aunt reached out to us and asked for a picture of Squirm. My first thought was that she was maybe having second thoughts.
        OH, HELL NO! SuperDad and I instantly circled the wagons – She had her chance, she passed on our baby, and we weren’t going to give a chance to change her mind. That’s when we realized that he owned our hearts and began to pray that Squirm was here to stay.

Like I said, I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after, but you’ll have to come back for the happy ending because we don’t have the final chapter yet.

* if you’re unfamiliar with any terminology, it might be helpful to check out my primer on foster care lingo.

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Please check out the other foster/adoptive parents who have contributed to the National Adoption Awareness Month Blog Tour by clicking the photo above!

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N.A.A.M. Blog Tour: Where did all these boys come from??? (Part 1: Squish)

In January, just before Squish was reunified with his birth father, I told our agency, “No more boys. Only girls. Girls are more fun and boys’ clothes are boring.”

No more boys.

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, I’m participating in an Adoption Blog Tour (AND GIVEAWAY!). Since we’re hoping to finalize a couple of adoptions in the next few months, I decided to write about the sequence of far-too-many-to-be-coincidence events that aligned and blessed us with two happy, boisterous, affectionate, spirited, funny, exasperating beautiful boys.

Because I’m incapable of making a long any story short, this will be a multipart fairy tale. Hang in there, because I’m pretty sure we all live happily ever after. Without further ado, here’s

How We Got Squish-ed
  • When we were initially licensed, even though we were adamant that 2 was our limit, our licensing coordinator licensed us for 3 beds, “just in case”.
  • In May 2012, we got talked into taking a sibling group of 2. This brought us to capacity and meant that when Squirm initially came into care, we didn’t get that call.
    • If we had taken Squirm when he first came into care, we couldn’t have taken Squish in July.
    • The sibling set was moved in July 2012, and I asked my agency to find us another baby ASAP. Meanwhile, AS A FAVOR TO MY AGENCY, we agreed to provide respite for two boys.

On July 20th, I got a call about a newborn baby girl just being released from the hospital – without even checking with SuperDad, I said we’d take her and happily began prepping for the new addition. Before I even finished making up the bassinet, my agency called back and said I couldn’t have her because Mr. Stork, the placement specialist at CPC wouldn’t give me an over-cap, even though I was at capacity only because of the respite. To put it mildly, I was furious. My agency relayed how unhappy I was, and Mr. Stork promised that the very next infant that came into care was mine. Sure. Whatever.

  • That baby girl actually never came into care. If Mr. Stork hadn’t denied my over-cap that evening, I probably wouldn’t have been the 1st call for Squish – I definitely wouldn’t have been the only call.
  • Less than a week later, the phone rang at 11 pm. A 4-month-old boy was coming into care and even though I was still doing respite, my over-cap was already approved. The mom had several kids already in care with paternal relatives. This little guy had a different unknown father. Which meant that odds were very good that this case would go to adoption. Mr. Stork kept his promise & Squish landed at 1am.
  • In a major plot-twist, Squish’s birth father was identified and Squish went to live with him in January 2013.

This is when I told my agency “No more boys.”

    • In yet another plot-twist, Squish’s birth father changed his mind, and Squish came back into care. Normally, he would automatically come back to us to ensure as much continuity as possible.

But by then we had Lady Bug and Squirm – and the state says that foster parents can’t have more than 2 children under 2. There’s a waiver, but the state had gotten really tetchy about  waivers and it definitely wasn’t a sure-thing. Mr. Stork was contacted by Squish’s CM, our agency, Mother Goose (as my mentor), and Rainbow Brite, the Foster Care Liaison. Everyone assured Mr. Stork that SuperDad and I could handle 3 infants and that this was the best option for Squish. Mr. Stork agreed, and Squish came home!

Now check out Where Squirms Come From to see how we wound up with the second of our sweet boys.

* if you’re unfamiliar with any terminology, it might be helpful to check out my primer on foster care lingo.


Foster2Forever positive foster parenting adoption blogs support

Please check out the other foster/adoptive parents who have contributed to the National Adoption Awareness Month Blog Tour by clicking the photo above!