Tag Archive: faith

Throwback Thursday – reflections on a young bride

I recently read an article on Lifehacker: 10 Things I Wish I Had Known When I Was Planning My Wedding, which of course, caused me to reminisce about my wedding and the planning thereof. It also made me appreciate all the ways I’ve grown in the last 11 years and all the ways my life has changed. And to marvel at the things that haven’t changed.
 
When I got married: I hadn’t yet found my way to college… I had NO idea who I wanted to be when I grew up. 

Today: I have an advanced degree, my CPA license and a career that I love. 

 
When I got married: I ^knew^ I didn’t want kids. I laughed at people who said I’d change my mind and I avoided *at all costs* those obnoxious people that talk incessantly about their kids.

TodayI’ve been blessed with the most amazing kids a mom could ever hope for – I’ve become one of those obnoxious moms who talks incessantly about nothing BUT my children – because they’re just that awesome (did I mention Lil Bit found his feet last week? he was SOOO proud – almost as proud as Mommy).

 
When I got married: SuperDad was my best friend – and not just because he was the one person I knew I could count on to have back no matter what, but also in that there was no one on the planet that I ever wanted to hang out with more. We didn’t have a lot of friends, because we just enjoyed each other’s company enough that we didn’t need other people around. One of the reasons I ^knew^ I didn’t want kids was because we didn’t want to share each other with anyone.

TodaySuperDad is still my best friend – and I still enjoy hanging out with him more than anybody in the world. I LOVE parenting with him. I couldn’t have chosen a better man to be the father of my children. And I couldn’t have chosen a better rock, or partner in crime, for this crazy roller coaster.

The demands of parenting have caused us to drift a little bit from the fun, best-friend relationship, but I’m making a commitment today to figure out how to get back to that (hopefully he’ll join me in that commitment, or this could be awkward).

I have more friends now. Some really awesome women that I wouldn’t trade for anything – even the ones I don’t actually know in real life.

When I got married: I thought I had a loving and supporting family that would back me up and stand by me no matter what.

TodayI realize that was an illusion. But I’m grateful to be released from the strain of maintaining that illusion.


When I got married: I wasted way too much time and energy on what other people thought – whether they were happy and whether they approved of me.

TodayI’ve made a lot of progress on that. I am proud of who I am – and not willing to change my beliefs or principles to suit anybody. *I* like me – and if you don’t, that’s okay.

I still spend too much energy on whether people approve of me. Not just anyone, mind – which is an improvement – but the approval of certain people is still far too important to me. And while I do what I think is right, regardless of the opinions of others, the lack of some people’s approval can still be emotionally crippling to me.


When I got married
:
 I was terrible about asking for help. I thought if people cared, they would see what I needed and offer help.

Today: I’ve figured out that people aren’t mind readers and for the most part I no longer expect them to just offer help I haven’t asked for. 

I’ve gotten a little better about asking for help. But I’ve been hurt so many times by people that I thought I could count on that it’s still really scary for me.


When I got married
:
 I expected people to behave the way I would behave and was frequently disappointed when they didn’t.

TodayUm…. yeah… Does it count that I at least know now that I do that?

 
When I got married: I was a Christian. I was saved. But my faith had never been truly tested.

Today: I’ve learned that a faith that has been tested comes out stronger and purer and more comforting. I’ve learned to cherish comfort in the arms of the One who knew me before I was born.

I still sometimes struggle to remember to rest in the knowledge that He works for the good of those who have been called according to His purpose. But when I do remember, I know that I will find peace. 


When I got married: I think I took a lot for granted. I was so busy trying to figure out where I was going, that I don’t think I ever really stopped and appreciated where I was – in the moment.

TodayI still don’t have much patience (word of advice: NEVER pray for patience – because God doesn’t give you patience, He teaches you patience – and that lesson sucks), but I am truly grateful everyday for all my blessings. My life is pretty freaking wonderful.

Hint: It has recently come to my attention that not all of my readers can easily tell when I’m being sarcastic. That is truly unfortunate, so finding a solution was imperative. ^Obviously, the easiest answer is to assume that if something can be read with sarcasm, it should be;^; but that’s not really workable, I guess. After reviewing several options for a “sarcasm font”, I’ve come up up with my own system. Whenever you see italics inside carrots (^snark^), that is my “sarcasm font”.

Monday Inspiration: “Speak Life” by TobyMac

“Speak Life” by TobyMac
Some days, life feels perfect.
Other days it just ain’t workin’.
The good, the bad, the right, the wrong
And everything in between.

It’s crazy – amazing
We can turn a heart with the words we say.
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die 

So speak Life, speak Life 
To the deadest, darkest night. 
Speak Life, speak Life 
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. 

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak Hope,
You speak Love, you speak…
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) 
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days the tongue gets twisted;
Other days my thoughts just fall apart.
I do, I don’t, I will, I wont,
It’s like I’m drowning in the deep.

Well it’s crazy to imagine,
Words from our lips as the arms of compassion, 
Mountains crumble with every syllable. 
Hope can live or die. 

So speak Life, speak Life 
To the deadest, darkest night. 
Speak life, speak Life 
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. 

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak Hope,
You speak Love, you speak…
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) 
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)


Lift your head a little higher,
Spread the love like fire.
Hope will fall like rain,
When you speak Life with the words you say.

Raise your thoughts a little higher,
Use your words to inspire.
Joy will fall like rain, 
When you speak Life with the things you say. 

Lift your head a little higher, 
Spread the love like fire. 
Hope will fall like rain, 
When you speak Life with the words you say. 

So speak Life, speak Life 
To the deadest, darkest night. 
Speak Life, speak Life 
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why. 

Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak Hope,
You speak Love, you speak…
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) 
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh) 
You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Some days life feels perfect.

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Monday Inspiration: “Overcomer” by Mandisa

“Overcomer” by Mandisa

Staring at a stop sign

Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio 

Got so much on your mind
Nothing’s really going right 
Looking for a ray of hope 

Whatever it is you may be going through, 

I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you 

You’re an overcomer! 

Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now 
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You that 
You’re an overcomer! 

You’re an overcomer! 

Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you’re not alone!
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know
You’re an overcomer!
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You that
You’re an overcomer! 
You’re an overcomer! 
The same Man, the Great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of You 
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life 
There’s nothing He can’t do! 
He’s telling you
Just take a breath, don’t forget, 
Hang on to His promises 

You’re an overcomer!

Stay in the fight ‘til the final round

You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You that
You’re an overcomer!

You’re an overcomer!
You’re an overcomer!
You’re an overcomer!

So don’t quit, don’t give in, you’re an overcomer!
Don’t quit, don’t give in, you’re an overcomer!
Don’t quit, don’t give in, you’re an overcomer!

You’re an overcomer!


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Monday Inspiration: “Live Like That” by Sidewalk Prophets

“Live Like That” by Sidewalk Prophets

Sometimes I think

What will people say of me
When I’m only just a memory
When I’m home where my soul belongs

Was I love,
When no one else would show up?
Was I Jesus to the least of us?
Was my worship more than just a song?

I want to live like that, and give it all I have,
So that everything I say and do points to You.

If love is who I am, then this is where I’ll stand –
Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that.
I want to live like that.

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are?
That grace can really change our heart?
Do I live like Your love is true?

People pass
And even if they don’t know my name,
Is there evidence that I’ve been changed?
When they see me, do they see You?
I want to live like that, and give it all I have,
So that everything I say and do points to You.

If love is who I am, then this is where I’ll stand –
Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that.
I want to live like that.

I want to show the world the love You gave for me.
I’m longing for the world to know the glory of the King.
I want to live like that, and give it all I have,
So that everything I say and do points to You.

If love is who I am, then this is where I’ll stand –
Recklessly abandoned, never holding back

I want to live like that.
I want to live like that.

I want to live like that.

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What I’m Most Thankful for This November

Obviously I’m thankful for SuperDad and my boys and my (new) church and my friends and my mentor and my job… and my health…

But what I’m MOST THANKFUL for? That my God knows better than me. That He loves me enough to ignore me. That He is benevolent enough and wise enough to disregard what I think and show me His will for my life – in all it’s magnificent abundant glory.

Yep, as clichéd as it is, I am most thankful this November for Unanswered Prayers.

The last few days I have been working on our Adoption Applications for Squirm and Squish. (Don’t get excited, this is just the next step in the process. We are still a long way from calling The Twins permanent members of the family.) Part of this step is another homestudy – this one for adoption, as opposed to foster care. I really can’t see the difference between the two, we have to answer almost the exact same questions we answered for our foster care homestudy. But I’m told it’s all required to adopt, so here we go again into the paperwork rabbit hole. In there interest of efficiency (and consistency, tbh), I tracked down my original licensure packet to see how we answered the in-depth background questions the first time. I had completely forgotten some of the questions asked.

Imagine that today is the day you are going to meet the child or children who will be placed in your home. Please describe this child: age, sex, personality, appearance, family background, siblings, etc.” I couldn’t help but laugh when I read our responses:

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